Thieves in Canada have stolen millions of dollars worth of highly prized maple syrup from a storage facility, Quebec police have said.The story goes on to say that the quantity of missing syrup is not yet known, but that if the entire warehouse were to be emptied, it would represent a tenth of Canadian production, the majority producer of maple syrup.
It's an incredible mystery to me. If the syrup was stolen for monetary gain, who are they going to sell it to, especially in the quantities it was taken? Is there a breakfast-food black market, where cases of Captain Crunch that "fell off the truck" are sold next to giant unmarked bags of domestic pancake mix?
Perhaps there is secret cabal of independent breakfast restaurant owners formed in opposition to PPEC (Pancake Producing Eatery Chains) whose members include such breakfast juggernauts as Denny's, IHOP, and Waffle House. This secret cabal might find it useful to have a few million liters of maple syrup on hand for distribution whenever PPEC flexes its powerful ties to the maple syrup industry and forces them to reduce output, just to prove America's dependence on syrup.
Aunt Jemima has been called in for questioning.
In other news... Belgium announces plans to make a waffle the size of Lichtenstein.
In other news... the ant population of Quebec quadruples overnight.
In other news... oil traders were puzzled to discover that the several hundred barrels of recently purchased grade II actually contained an unknown, sweet-smelling sticky substance.
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