Apr 27, 2015

Saturday

Nobody slept well saturday night. When I checked messages in the morning, I read that Grandma had passed away while I slept. When we FaceTimed, she talked about "fading away," and that is how I imagine she left us, fading from this Earth with family close by.

Dad was up early with his jet lag. He met me shortly later at our apartment and we walked over the Bosch Bakery to stock up on pastries. There was a typical long line, and I talked about Grandma's passing and how conflicted I was about going to the US. I wanted to go, I felt I should go, but a ticket to the US is so so expensive, and frankly, I am living paycheck to paycheck without savings. Dad encouraged me to go.

He loved the bakery. We bought sesame covered laugen croissants, chocolate crossants, poppy seed sweet danishes, and a big farmers loaf of bread.

Next door at the fruit shop, he picked us up a box of incredibly ripe and delicious strawberries. From there, we walked the short distance over to the saturday market on Bismarkplatz, and bought more cheese, fruits, and vegitables.

Back at the apartment, Saori sliced up some fruit for us, and I fried some eggs and sliced up the pastries. We washed it down a few pots of black coffee. Over breakfast we talked about our options for a rainy and gray day.

We took the U bahn back to the city center and went to the Landesmuseum, which is a collection of mostly archeological and significant historical artifacts from the local area. The museum is also located inside of the Altes Schloss, the old castle (although actually it was rebuilt twice in the 20th century). As it turns out, the area in close proximity to Stuttgart has a rather representative slice of the history of human pre-civilization and civilization.

There are locally found fragments of Neanderthals, some of the oldest carved artworks, period, dating back 35-40,000 years ago. The area witnessed the rise of the Celts, the Allamani, Roman occupation, the christianization of the Germanic tribes, the struggles of the Protestant reformation, and the rise of mechanical and industrial industries in more recent times.

Actually a very well done museum although intense, and we needed a beer afterwards. We had a pint and a light meal at the Alte Kanzlei nearby. The service was unusually bad. The standards of American service are such that I constantly remind myself to lower my expectations in Europe or elsewhere abroad, but one of the waiters here suggested to Saori that if she couldn't wait for her drinks, she should just go home. This is after we got our food which is a long enough wait.

Anyway, at that point, I had made up my mind to come to the funeral, so we let Dad on his own in the city center and Saori and I went back home to look at tickets.

They are still so expensive. The only way I could bring down the price was to fly out the following morning at 6 AM and stay a full week.

Even before grandma passed away, Saori was asking me if she should plan on going to see grandma. Or if she should come to the funeral as well.

Grandma's passing really hit Saori hard. She, like many, loved grandma, and it eats at her that she had not been back to see her since the Christmas right before she left for Germany. It eats at her that she has been absent from so many family gatherings, and especially as a Japanese person, it eats at her that she was never able to return the hospitality to grandma like Saori wished she could have done. As it was, and as ticket prices are, we decided that I should go and represent both of us, and she would cover half of the ticket.

We rested and planned and then arranged to meet dad for dinner at Turkish restaurant nearby. A bit of humor punctuating the heaviness of the day transpired while I was making reservations. I asked if the person who answered the phone spoke english. He replied, " one moment", and there was a bit of chatter and conversation in Turkish at the other end before a younger man hesitantly picked up the phone

Hello?
Hello! I would like to make a reservation.
um, no thank you. We are not interested.
You are not interested?! I want. to make. a reservation. at your restaurant.
ohhhhh ok

but we finally got it all straightened out. We met dad there for dinner and actually the food was all really good. The best meal we had with dad while he was there.

We said goodbye at the bus stop where dad could grab the bus back to his hotel (we taught him to say 'Kurz' for short trip). I am sad that I couldn't stay another day with him in Stuttgart, but the connections monday all had me coming in very late monday night, very close to the tuesday morning funeral.

It has been such a flood of emotions for me- happiness and warmth of seeing dad again, and the pleasure of showing him around, but combined with the weight of grief for my Grandma, and my frustration at being so far from family I wanted to comfort.

I packed until about midnight, took a shower, and crashed in bed, wishing that this wasn't at the same time as dad's visit, wishing I was coming to the US under different circumstances and wishing that my flight wasn't leaving in six hours.

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I moved the blog again. I deleted the Tumblr account and moved everything to Medium.com, a more writing-centric website. medium.com/@wende