Today, as I attempted to create a DVD of work I've done over the semester as the final bit of this semester, I was overcome with rage at the computer lab's inability to successfully burn the files. I was audibly cursing the machine, slamming doors, striding angrilly back in forth in the halls to get my backup DVD after it screwed up the first one to the point of unusibilty. I think part of what was happening was the flood of pent up frustration was seeping through.

This has been my most frustrating studio ever- I can't think of a time when I was filled with more anger. There were moments in the semester where I had to leave the building. I think I ended up with a good project, but the frustrations I met along the way were not the kind that lead to increased productivity or radical, good design.

It's the end of the semester- everything is done, and there is the bittersweetness of the end. Many of my friends are leaving for semesters or even a year abroad. It's sad that so many of them will out of my life for so long, and graduate school is so short. But Saori gone, my closest friend and love, I feel a little more jaded, as though the cynic in me recognizes the shortness of time in school and still stays detached. But still, the semester fades out and people leave without you knowing about it, so you never know if the last time you'll see someone for the year is passing them in the hall.

Summer has arrived- bringing with it the vacant sort of complacency of my idyllic summers with relatives in Oklahoma. But its also hugely depressing and demotivating as my summer plans for a fantastic internship in Shanghai fell through, and now I have to contend with the ambiguous planning for a summer which I am already losing faith in.

I am so happy studio is over- there's really nothing like that feeling of accomplishment when you finish the jury critique and everyone heads back to studio, happily chattering about how much sleep they're going to get, what bar they're going to to celebrate, the celebratory meal. The heady combination of believing you've worked hard and accomplished something combined with the anticipation for the revelry, rest, and celebration to follow.