Oct 4, 2013

The Oath of Non-Insufferability

I, returning expatriate, do solemnly endeavor to uphold the Oath of Non-Insufferability, because (1) only restaurant sommeliers like snobs, and (2) I enjoy a life filled with various types of food.

I I acknowledge the validity of Mexican-adapted and hybridized culture in the US as both autonomous from, and historical links to, Mexican culture.

II I recognize that Cal-Mex, Arizona-Mex, New Mexican, and Tex-Mex food are authentic to their regions and represent local histories of North-American/Mexican interaction.

III I acknowledge that taste is largely dependent on exposure, and that for many people, that which is unfamiliar is unsettling and undesirable. Furthermore, I realize that for most Americans, the favorite 'Mexican' dish is a combination plate number.

IV I will be sympathetic and understanding to those people whose only engagement with 'Mexican' food is Taco Bell.

V I admit that Taco Bell is still good.

VI I will not use air quotation marks when referring to "Mexican" restaurants.

VII It is ok to snub Pancho's, which barely qualifies as "food."

VIII While I will strive to communicate the positive aspects of Mexico City urban life, keeping in mind their core causes, I will maintain a balanced view of the negatives as well.

IX I will not gratuitously or obnoxiously point out (9.1) the irrelevance of Cinco de Mayo in Mexico, (9.2) inaccurate depictions of Mexican life in restaurants or the media, (9.3) incongruous menu selections, (9.4) unfavorable statistics comparing American gun deaths to Mexican drug war deaths (9.5) how much cheaper food and transportation are in Mexico, or (9.6) the general lack of American street life in comparison to Mexico.

X Reading a few online articles about mezcal and tequila and having tried more than five types does not qualify me as an "expert" on tequila or mezcal beyond the acknowledgement that Cuervo is best used as a disinfectant.

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